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Ex SOLDIER WITH PTSD AND ANXIETY ISSUES.


Shaybop38112486

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Hi guys.y name is johnny and in 1990 5 of my close pals were blown up in a place where peace is now at the fore.

i was QRF( quick reaction force). Me and my team would respond to any incident that might occur when on guard duty.

we got a radio message, although it was a confused message we knew what to do. In a nut shell we were first on the scene. I won't mention exactly where it was so as not to create a bad vibe for others that wouldn't have agreed with being in the place in the first instance. 

However, the bombing took place on the 24/10/1990, you could find the incident if you need to.

anyway that's Not my point. My point is that due to what I witnessed when I landed there and seen all death and destruction, I had a complete mental health breakdown and I've not been the same guy since that day.

i am writing this for ex soldiers and serving soldiers so they know that they are not alone with those nasty feelings and thoughts that trauma, of whatever kind brings to us on a daily basis.

i would love to hear others experiences, how you  deal with your ruthless anxiety problems, and maybe I can learn from you.

The only coping strategies I know is benzodiazepines. I have a wealth of experience with benzo as will most preole on DGB.

like I say if anybody, ex soldier or serving, civilians who also have PTSD please join in and let's get a thread together to help one another .

thanks for reading and ask me anything if you feel I can help in any way, shape or form, then Pm me, take  care, johnny 

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Sorry to hear about your trauma and the lose of your friends. I don't have PTSD but I've done a lot of reading on it. I recently helped write a publication on trauma and substance abuse.

Benzos aren't the best thing for PTSD, since they mainly work by keeping you from addressing the trauma, which can actually make the problem worse. For instance, if you give someone a benzo who has just been in a traumatic situation it actually increases the chances they'll develop PTSD. An SSRI is probably better. I know a number of states have approved medical marijuana for PTSD, which is probably better, and if you can find a qualified therapist who's willing to use it people have had great results using XTC. It needs to be used though in a situation where you face the trauma while experiencing different emotions (from the XTC)--it's not approved for that use so it can be hard to find the right person to work with. And while I haven't seen any research on the subject, I know there are a number of people who find phenibut helpful. It would seem to be a better option than benzos since it doesn't seem to cause people to avoid things as much as face them without the crippling anxiety, but it's a tricky drug, very subtle but at the same time easy to get hooked on.

If you were US military, the VA actually has some of the best docs in the world for PTSD and there are a lot of new therapies being developed these days, like the use of virtual reality.

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I'm not a soldier, but have been diagnosed with PTSD for childhood trauma. I'm going to be honest; you're going to d have good days, you're going to have bad days. You may have to go to counseling and/or take medication for the rest of your life. You're going to have to PLOW your own quality of life because the things you experienced ruined that for you. On my bad days, I sit and play Playstation all day. I barely talk to my husband or children, I don't answer the phone. Some people say it's unhealthy, but just a day to myself makes me a better wife and mother. There are nights I don't sleep. If this happens to you, try not to do the "if I go to sleep now, i can sleep for 5 hours, 6 minutes" just relax as best you can. I do a therapy exercise where I relax my body one part at a time. Even if I don't sleep, I'm giving my body SOME rest. Basically, find your own coping mechanisms. I'm pulling for you, it's an internal battle that few understand. Get a good support  system. 

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On 3/24/2016 at 3:00 AM, Shaybop38112486 said:

Hi guys.y name is johnny and in 1990 5 of my close pals were blown up in a place where peace is now at the fore.

i was QRF( quick reaction force). Me and my team would respond to any incident that might occur when on guard duty.

we got a radio message, although it was a confused message we knew what to do. In a nut shell we were first on the scene. I won't mention exactly where it was so as not to create a bad vibe for others that wouldn't have agreed with being in the place in the first instance. 

However, the bombing took place on the 24/10/1990, you could find the incident if you need to.

anyway that's Not my point. My point is that due to what I witnessed when I landed there and seen all death and destruction, I had a complete mental health breakdown and I've not been the same guy since that day.

i am writing this for ex soldiers and serving soldiers so they know that they are not alone with those nasty feelings and thoughts that trauma, of whatever kind brings to us on a daily basis.

i would love to hear others experiences, how you  deal with your ruthless anxiety problems, and maybe I can learn from you.

The only coping strategies I know is benzodiazepines. I have a wealth of experience with benzo as will most preole on DGB.

like I say if anybody, ex soldier or serving, civilians who also have PTSD please join in and let's get a thread together to help one another .

thanks for reading and ask me anything if you feel I can help in any way, shape or form, then Pm me, take  care, johnny 

Get up with me brother.  I only got a single deployment to Iraq before I was gently informed that I hadn't made the Colonels list (my last chance to do so), but I've seen my share of what COL Kurtz so aptly called "The horror...The horror", and have given up on explaining to VA *and* civilian shrinks that some things, once seen, cannot be unseen.

1990, eh?  Must have been "JUST CAUSE", the oh-so-important Noriega grab - I was in Panama for 7 months with two teams from the 7th ID's Long Range Surveillance Detachment (we were under the "operational control" of 5-21 Infantry Regiment, but everyone knew we were working for LTC Robert Wagner (later General, as in a flag officer whose flag bore four stars) Robert Wagner when he commanded the the 1/75 (First Battalion, 75th Infantry Regiment, (Airborne / Ranger) - You might have been one of his boys.  I will say this - Although unconventional (how else do Rangers do things), I was a bit tired from walking the length and breadth of that tropical paradise, setting up OP/LPs every night, and getting then LTC Wagner the G-2 he needed, so when the Ranger Battalions started raining down on Omar Torrijos airport, and the Panamanian Defense Forces started shooting, I wasn't quick enough to duck, and caught the first of three bullet wounds and one VERY nice piece of shrapnel that embedded in my jaw.  When I wiped enough blood off my eyes with sleeve to check on my LRSD team it was great to see that none of MY men were so much as scratched, but some of the guys from 5-21 Infantry had a LOT of holes in them.

That was just the start.  Over 30 years, I've seen the elephant in Panama, Bosnia / Herzegovina, Desert Shield, Desert Storm, and OIF.

Of course, having enlisted in the late 70's, bootstrapped and accepting a commission as a 2LT in '82, My Army didn't want to know anything about PTSD - Guys were getting mustered out with discharges "under conditions other than honorable" just for mentioning it.  I'm lucky enough to be the 4th generation of field grade army officer corps members in my family, so they've been a lot of help - But at some point, every single day, an image I sometimes don't even remember jumps in my brain, and I have to spend the rest of the day avoiding a full-on panic attack.  I've come up with my own coping strategies (yes, many involving the use of different benz@s at different times of the day, and I'd be happy to lend you an ear if nothing else.

Sua Sponte,

- b2g

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Hi, I'm very sorry about you having to deal with the symptoms of PTSD. Thank you for serving, I sincerely hope that our soldiers will be taken care of. I never served, but I also have PTSD from childhood trauma that manifests with the inability to regulate emotions , avoidance, impulse control among other things. It's not visibly apparent, but it's hard to deal with at times.  My psychiatrist says the DSM 5 calls what I have something else that carries a ridiculous stigma, but the diagnostics are going to be changing due to more research and evidence. He thinks that labels make the disease worse. 

EMDR is a treatment for PTSD recognized by the actual medical community that aids in the reduction or elimination of symptoms. Although there are a lot of diy self administered EMDR videos and othere things available online, you need to find a therapist who is experienced inn administering this, because they know how to handle any problems that may arise and you never know what you're lookinig at on YouTube is the real deal. I think this type of therapy needs to be individualized. 

I would also look for a therapist who practices a mind/body approach to treatment. This will be so beneficial, you will learn so much about how to handle your stressors with different techniques not practiced by average kinda therapists. 

I've been to a zillion therapists. Took a lot of trial and error to find someone to suit my individual needs. Keep looking. If you need any help looking for someone, I can post some links in this post. 

It sucks, it's hard to do things a lot of the time. Keep pushing, if someone tells you no, keep looking, you WILL find someone good who doesn't stick to the textbooks or the DSM and can help you learn to handle your symptoms. 

Google EMDR.. Don't do it on your own... The road to recovery sucks balls, I'm not there, I have set backs, but you can't give up. You have a life to live. 

Best wishes and lots of luck. Reply if you have any questions..

 

 

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PTSD is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Mine is characterized by flash backs, nightmares, inability to cope with chaos, anxiety and depression just to name a few.

The strigger is real.

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Best wishes to any of our members who are struggling with any type of disorders. I'm sure I can speak for @PTFC that if things are ever too much to bear, we can at least always listen.

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Absolutely @2earls. My father suffers it. I was also erroneously diagnosed with it after a lifechanging event for me.

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Hey there @Shaybop38112486, @Back2Good. It's good to find a couple brothers in arms. I'm retired USAF and a PTSD sufferer as well, along with some other crap. I'm sure you are both familiar with what the VA does for us, so I won't reiterate that, but if you don't have a disability rating, I would recommend that you get started on it ASAP. Also, if you are having issues getting help, there is help available, whether it is for navigating VA, chasing benefits, or other things.

I don't always know the answer, but I do know who to ask. I'm here for you, if you need anything I can do to ease the load.

I've been through the huge bottles of misc crap VA prescribed for PTSD, and took a brief trip down the benzos road, but neither were helpful for me. I still have major sleep issues and I didn't have much luck with psychs or group therapy. The best help for me is to help others. Gets my head into a different, and usually better, place.

@PTFC, thanks for sharing your experience, too. Misdiagnosed? Wow.

Sometimes the best help is just knowing I'm not alone.

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@Shaybop38112486 and @deadly

Hi guys,

I'm new here but would like to share my experiences with PTSD. A couple of years ago I knocked on the door of my next door neighbour's flat, I had never met him before or even waved or nodded to the man in the street, I had just knocked on his door to ask him to turn his TV down.

He opened the door and I said exactly only "please can you turn the tv down" and he just said to me "yes" and then "I love you". I was obviously freaked out and went straight back home and locked the door, half an hour later he turned up at my door saying he loved me and wanted to kiss me then "fuck" me. I refused to open the door and told him honestly that I am a lesbian and not interested, so he tried to break my door down saying he was going to rape me. I called the police and he was arrested but bailed out the next day, after that he started stalking me (well actually it turned out that he had already been watching me without my knowledge before that night). He stalked me for months with many arrests but he kept being bailed out. It went on for six months on and off and I had to get my MP involved, it was actually brought up in parliament as the police weren't doing their jobs properly, to get him charged properly.

It was hell, he even tried to grab me through my letter box. And so now I have PTSD. I can't possibly imagine what it would have been like being in a war zone and seeing such terrible things as the OP so please don't think I'm equating my experience with being as bad as yours, I just wanted to let you know that I do understand how terrible PTSD is and I really feel for you and everyone who has posted here about their experiences with PTSD.

I have started a course of EMDR and have found it to be excellent, I am much better than i was but I was only allowed a certain amount of sessions and am now on a huge waiting list to be able to get the rest of the sessions I need. My anxiety is better than it was from the EMDR but I do still have panic attacks and flash backs and my nightmares are the worst part of it. I also have fibromyalgia and the anxiety makes the pain worse.

I do massively recommend EMDR, I cant wait for my sessions to start again. In the mean time I do find B€nzos work for the panic attacks and extreme anxiety but I keep them for those times only as otherwise they seem to lose their effectiveness.

Anyway I really wish you all the best and please feel free to ask any questions.

 

 

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On 24/03/2016 at 7:00 AM, Shaybop38112486 said:

Hi guys.y name is johnny and in 1990 5 of my close pals were blown up in a place where peace is now at the fore.

i was QRF( quick reaction force). Me and my team would respond to any incident that might occur when on guard duty.

we got a radio message, although it was a confused message we knew what to do. In a nut shell we were first on the scene. I won't mention exactly where it was so as not to create a bad vibe for others that wouldn't have agreed with being in the place in the first instance. 

However, the bombing took place on the 24/10/1990, you could find the incident if you need to.

anyway that's Not my point. My point is that due to what I witnessed when I landed there and seen all death and destruction, I had a complete mental health breakdown and I've not been the same guy since that day.

i am writing this for ex soldiers and serving soldiers so they know that they are not alone with those nasty feelings and thoughts that trauma, of whatever kind brings to us on a daily basis.

i would love to hear others experiences, how you  deal with your ruthless anxiety problems, and maybe I can learn from you.

The only coping strategies I know is benzodiazepines. I have a wealth of experience with benzo as will most preole on DGB.

like I say if anybody, ex soldier or serving, civilians who also have PTSD please join in and let's get a thread together to help one another .

thanks for reading and ask me anything if you feel I can help in any way, shape or form, then Pm me, take  care, johnny 

My ex has PTSD and psychosis, he wasn't a soilder, but has been through several traumas. He isn't prescribed benzo's (That's my weakness for my acute anxiety), instead he receives antidepressants and antipsychotics. He has also seen psychiatrists and psychotherapists. I know that the latter can be useful for a variety of mental health issues.

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On 3/24/2016 at 2:00 AM, Shaybop38112486 said:

Hi guys.y name is johnny and in 1990 5 of my close pals were blown up in a place where peace is now at the fore.

i was QRF( quick reaction force). Me and my team would respond to any incident that might occur when on guard duty.

we got a radio message, although it was a confused message we knew what to do. In a nut shell we were first on the scene. I won't mention exactly where it was so as not to create a bad vibe for others that wouldn't have agreed with being in the place in the first instance. 

However, the bombing took place on the 24/10/1990, you could find the incident if you need to.

anyway that's Not my point. My point is that due to what I witnessed when I landed there and seen all death and destruction, I had a complete mental health breakdown and I've not been the same guy since that day.

i am writing this for ex soldiers and serving soldiers so they know that they are not alone with those nasty feelings and thoughts that trauma, of whatever kind brings to us on a daily basis.

i would love to hear others experiences, how you  deal with your ruthless anxiety problems, and maybe I can learn from you.

The only coping strategies I know is benzodiazepines. I have a wealth of experience with benzo as will most preole on DGB.

like I say if anybody, ex soldier or serving, civilians who also have PTSD please join in and let's get a thread together to help one another .

thanks for reading and ask me anything if you feel I can help in any way, shape or form, then Pm me, take  care, johnny 

PTSD is a bitch. I got a TBI while I was in also so I get frequent migraines and headaches, and the TBI makes the anxiety from the PTSD even worse. Benzodiazepines seem to be the only thing that completely calm me down but I had to back away from them for a while as I began to abuse them. Now I'm finally at the point where I can manage a prescription properly. All other coping skills the VA has tried to teach me never worked. None of the anti depressants which are suppose to relieve anxiety worked either. I feel your pain. Recently I had a fall and hit head pretty hard and now the night terrors are back 7 nights  week. The night terrors went away for a while and wasn't a frequent but something in at fall made them come back every night and They seem so much more vivid than usual.

 

thanks for starting this tread im looking forward to reading everyone else's comments.

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On 1/13/2017 at 11:17 PM, AngryBird said:

Hey there @Shaybop38112486, @Back2Good. It's good to find a couple brothers in arms. I'm retired USAF and a PTSD sufferer as well, along with some other crap. I'm sure you are both familiar with what the VA does for us, so I won't reiterate that, but if you don't have a disability rating, I would recommend that you get started on it ASAP. Also, if you are having issues getting help, there is help available, whether it is for navigating VA, chasing benefits, or other things.

I don't always know the answer, but I do know who to ask. I'm here for you, if you need anything I can do to ease the load.

I've been through the huge bottles of misc crap VA prescribed for PTSD, and took a brief trip down the benzos road, but neither were helpful for me. I still have major sleep issues and I didn't have much luck with psychs or group therapy. The best help for me is to help others. Gets my head into a different, and usually better, place.

@PTFC, thanks for sharing your experience, too. Misdiagnosed? Wow.

Sometimes the best help is just knowing I'm not alone.

My best help besides benzodiazepines was getting heavily involved into the business that I own. I'd get so involved I wouldn't  think about events that took place while in service. However  that created a different problem of never seeing family and not having a personal life. Plus it made me a very tired and very over worked Veteran and after 3 months of 300+ hours working that much for that long I would eventually  burn out and not want to do anything for a week.

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Hey there @Mrider. Good first post, and good to hear from you. I lurk in the intro thread, but hadn't noticed you coming in.

I try to keep busy and can overdo it easily, too. Excessive in many things, but I am improving...A little. Lol

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11 hours ago, AngryBird said:

Hey there @Mrider. Good first post, and good to hear from you. I lurk in the intro thread, but hadn't noticed you coming in.

I try to keep busy and can overdo it easily, too. Excessive in many things, but I am improving...A little. Lol

Yea I was excessive when I first got out the Army. It had a lot to do w when Things I went through. I ended up  having to completely cut back but  can manage scripts and still sometimes need the help of family, but at the end of day all that matters is keeping it safe and use as intended. 

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