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Adoption


dug_less

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My daughter who is almost 6 months pregnant, is looking to give this child up for adoption to a loving family. My daughter and I have talked about this and feel that is in the best interest of the child. Our biggest issue is that these so called "non profit adoption agencies" make insane amounts of money placing these children. I would rather the 20 some thousand dollars that the adopting parents are paying the agency, be spent on the child that they are adopting. I could really use some advise from anyone who as experience with this. 

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Hi Dug_less,

I don't have any experience with your situation, just wanted to offer some support. It must be a very difficult decision to make. Hopefully a lot of that adoption fee goes to vetting the prospective adopters.

It's certainly a tough situation for you and your daughter. I wish you both the best.

2E

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If you get a lawyer, can you do a private adoption, with the adoptive parents paying the attorney fees? I think I've heard of someone doing that and it wasn't nearly as expensive.

Your and your daughter are so selfless doing this. You have my support!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Mine too! Much love at both of you! Btw, I am adopted and have never ever felt bad at my birth parents for giving me up to a better life. What a selfless act! My birthmom was 15 and birthdad was 17. The BEST people in the world raised me. My recomendation as an adoptee is to not "seal" the adoption files, or make a stip that they become unsealed when the child is at a certain age. The child WILL look for the birthmom. Just my very humble opinion.

Again much love to you both! God bless you and your daughter and the baby!

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Thanks all for your kind words and support. As it turns out, one of my coworkers and his wife expressed today that they are very interested in adopting the baby. Strange sometimes how things happen. They will make excellent parents.

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I know very little about this subject but the fees do seem a bit disgusting.

 

There must me some agencies that will take a much less business approach to the whole process. Maybe contact your local religious organization or maybe some legal advocate who believes that this adoption process is not just a business transaction.

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I came through Catholic Charities! My Mom and Dad handled telling me I was adopted beautifully. They started letting me know when I was little. Really little. I think adopted children always will have some sort of issue, but the way that the parents handle it is everything. Just wanted to get that out there.

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Dug_less

Your post brings back so many memories.

My sister adopted both of her sons as infants. The oldest was 1 week old when she and her husband brought him home and the younger was 4 days old. Those boys are men now and are such a blessing to our family. My sister and her husband were like Cats parents....always very open and communicative about the fact they are adopted. In fact, she had a little poem about how they became a family in their rooms when they were children.

I don't know how much my nephews (or my sister for that matter) know about their birth parents but they are emotionally healthy and fine young men with family of their own now.

I've often thought of their birth mothers and thanked God she put their well being above what had to have been a heart wrenching decision. She acted in the most selfless manner by giving a couple (my sister and BIL) the gift of children as sister was unable to conceive a baby. She was heartbroken to learn she was unable to get pregnant but a girl/woman who for whatever reason couldn't raise a child made it possible for her to have a much wanted family.

So, thank you on behalf of all of the adoptive families who recognize the gift your daughter is bestowing....a much cherished child. I know it can't be easy but I pray your daughter will feel peace with her decision and one day, when the time and circumstances are right, have a family of her own. Blessings to her and you.

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Roger, ABSOLUTELY! What a brave and unselfish thing for the birthmom to do. I myself have never wanted kids and have been pregnant. Let's just say I took the easy way out. Which turns out to be not so easy to live with. I admire and respect people who give their children to a deserving family because it is the right thing to do. Dugless, bless you and your daughter. Godspeed.

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Cat

Interesting you mention that. I have a younger sister who made the same choice as a young professional woman and I supported her 100%. I have no doubt I would have done the same in the same circumstance. We do the best we can at the time.

Hugs to you!

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I want to thank all of you for the much needed support and kind words. My daughter is very comfortable with her decision and we will be starting the process of placing the child with my coworker and his wife. This will be a blessing for everyone.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I want to thank all of you for the much needed support and kind words. My daughter is very comfortable with her decision and we will be starting the process of placing the child with my coworker and his wife. This will be a blessing for everyone.

This brings tears to my eyes. Your daughter deserves every good and perfect blessing and I pray she can experience peace and comfort as the time grows near. I hope the exact same thing for you too, Dugless. Our world needs more people like you two.

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For guys. Don't they say not to piss in the wind?

Wink, Wink

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Just wanted to update everyone about my daughter and the adoption. 7lbs 4oz baby boy. The adopting parents were with us through the whole process and everyone is blessed. My daughter came back home today and the baby went home with the adopting parents today. He is a beautiful baby and my daughter will still be able to have a relationship with him. I work with the adoptive father and my daughter has become very close friends with his wife. 

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